So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
