this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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