Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
