When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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