alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
