found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
