Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
