is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
