I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
