Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
