the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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