The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize