i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize