Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
