just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
