It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
