Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was like eating out sand paper
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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