This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
