you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
BRING THE BAGELS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
