I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
