Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
