you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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