you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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