Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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