Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
