I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
