Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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