**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
