So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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