Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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