chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
