Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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