This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize