Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
