Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
