I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
