please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize