Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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