Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
where does the pee come out of this thing
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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