those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
