I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
