He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
