uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
