Small penises have feelings too.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
