three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
