So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize