Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
