You smell like stripper and shame
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
