worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
