I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
