I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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