Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize