She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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