Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
