How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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