Rock
Scissors
Fuck
another moral hangover. fuck.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
