My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize