Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
bring money and cleavage
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
