I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
