Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize
